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Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
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I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on
it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
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How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for
MissAmerica ?
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Now that food has replaced
sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to
wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I
wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
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When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now
I just 'chunky dunk.'
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Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
difference.
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Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our
life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
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Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
in prison?
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Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
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Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when
the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
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Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English,
thank a soldier'
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